When Tegan was a toddler, I used to write a lot about her on my blog. In fact, her antics were what inspired me to write, Why I Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk, which is the post that brought a lot of you to my blog for the first time. Can you believe she is turning TWELVE in a few days?! I write about the kids less and less as they get older, partly for privacy reasons, and partly just because things change and seasons shift. But yesterday, I woke up to a Tegan message that made me laugh, and I told her she should write a blog post for me sometime (while she was eating chicken, as you’ll read down below.) She is still the same sassy, spunky, kid she was when she was three, and I couldn’t possibly love her more. Here is her original message to me, and her first ever blog post. I hope they make you smile.

that awkward moment when your brother freaks out about the expiration date on watermelon juice and your other brother said it was fine but he still sniffs it intensely for like 2 minutes straight and then has you smell it and it smells fine and then he pours it into a cup and drinks it and is like “nOpE tHaTs bAd” and he has you try it and so you take a sip and its like literal death in your mouth and you swear you’re getting poisoned and you’re about to die from death and you spit it out back in the cup but the taste of hell is still soaked into your mouth pallets so you have to force feed yourself water straight from the sink and you put it on blast mode so you’re just filling your mouth with water for multiple minutes and you’re dying and its bad and as you’re writing a facebook status the taste still haunts you.

um, hi. i was eating chicken and my mom asked me to write a blog post mid bite so here i am. she never specified what i should write, so you should honestly just keep scrolling and skip my pointless rambling that’ll probably go on for a long time. however, if you’re interested in my some what entertaining writing, then feel free to stay! if you’re still here, i’m proud of you. what’s up?? you must like me enough to keep reading! well, i’m not sure if this is qualified to go up on a blog page post account thing or whatever she calls it, but she never told me what to write about so i just continued to eat my chicken but still questioned why she wanted me to write this for her. well, apparently it’s because people find me “funny” and they want me to keep writing and all that chill stuff. that is wack, my friend. i’m still waiting on a call from jerry seinfeld to get me a gig with him, but he’s too busy eating lucky charms and drinking pepsi to call me back. shame on you, jerry.

regardless, i’m waiting for someone to hit me up with a nomination for “best blog post ever written by a crazed stranger things fan girl who also enjoys some good garlic bread” award! in my opinion, that sounds like something i would watch. and now would be the time that i have raging writers block, since this is literally about nothing in particular, so that’s fun. i’m just vibing with air, still traumatized from the death juice i almost consumed last night. i’m literally sitting here waiting for my brain to say “!!!!!!!!I HAvE SOMETHING INTERESTINg FOR YOu tO wRITE AbOUT” but there isn’t anything… so… great.